Schlock, Shock, and Taboo Review: Dead Girl (2009)

So I just finished watching a 2009 film entitled Dead Girl…

Dead Girl tells the story of Ricky and JT, a pair of teenagers who decide to skip school and hang out in an abandoned mental hospital. When they dodge a loose dog in the basement, they stumble upon a room where a female corpse is tied up on a slab. However, upon further inspection, the corpse is actually a zombie. JT eventually decides to use the zombie as a sex slave, and Ricky is repulsed by this. Ricky must now find a way to stop JT and prevent any more damage from being done.

Wow. What a waste of a great concept.

Let’s start with what worked about the movie. Decent characters and performances (Noah Segan is scummy and entertaining as J.T.; and Jenny Spain made for a great zombie), passable cinematography and editing, fantastic gore effects, great make up and set design, etc.

On a technical level, the movie was fine enough. One shot in the movie was kind of garbage, but the rest of it was decent in terms of camera work and special effects. But everything else was kind of bad.

The biggest culprit being the tone. It took itself WAY too seriously. There were a few good comedy bits in this film (the trashy redneck girl tanking a tire iron and beating the shit out of Wheeler and JT was hilarious, and anything involving the jock characters was decent fun as well), but those comedy bits were few and far between, and they really wanted you to take these characters and this story at face value. If it were more goofy and tounge in cheek, I would have loved this movie.

Another issue I had was the zombie. Yes, rules with movie monsters aren’t a thing and you can do whatever the fuck you want with them, but most zombie movies seem to follow alot of the ideas Romero set out, and the key one is that head shots kill. There’s a scene in this movie where JT stabs it in the head and I’m like “What the fuck? You just killed it…” but it’s still alive for some reason. It was really stupid.

Also, there’s a really big, gaping hole in the story, and that’s the fact that there is an infected person out in the world, the jock boyfriend of the love intrest Joanne. They didn’t even touch on that ONCE after it was initially set up. Like, shit, he’s carrying the zombie virus, he’s gonna start the apocalypse. WHY AREN’T WE TALKING ABOUT THAT, GUYS?!?!?!?!

Overall, I was disappointed by this. If it were better written and punched up way more, this would be a fantastic comedy. But it dropped the ball big time. If you’re a hardcore horror buff, watch it, I guess, but it is far from good.

4 out of 10

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